Friday, May 24, 2013

The Judged

Sorry it's been so long again, but I can never seem to find time to sit down at a computer. I'm only able to right now because Ada is asleep and I have Brady in my lap watching yo gabba gabba on you tube.  I'm sure a lot of parents are shaking their heads at me right now, but that's exactly what I want to talk about...

When you become an adult, you get to make your own decisions without too much criticism. Then, you become a parent and somehow that opens you up to all sorts of criticism again.  You let your kid have junk and McDonald's occasionally and someone is going to bad mouth you.  You teach your kids to eat healthy and never let them eat junk and someone is going to bad mouth you for that too.  You babywear and people criticize that you're spoiling your baby and they will get too used to it.  You don't babywear and a whole different group is going to criticize you for not holding your baby enough.  Why can't we just acknowledge that there are many different ways to parent?

I have seen many complaints on Facebook about parents being on their phones and on Facebook too much, which is kind of ironic to me.  Last week, I took the kids to storytime and a mother came in with her 3 year old, sat her 3 year old down on the ground, grabbed herself a chair and whipped her iphone out.  Every other parent is sitting on the floor with their child(ren).  My first instinct was to be appalled, but it's not like her daughter was running around crazy (like my toddler).  She was sitting quietly.  Maybe this was the only moment that this mom had to sit down and relax for a second. I agree that it's not good to be on your phone all the time.  Unless you are with the person all the time, how do you know how often they are really on the phone?  How do I know what she was doing is any different than when I go and park the car for a second when both kids are contently strapped into their carseats?  Yes, I do that every so often.  Keep in mind, we don't leave the house during the week much anyway, so it's not every day. Unless I am physically putting my children in danger, then I really don't want to hear your opinion on my parenting.  This would be less of a big deal if someone actually nicely approached the "offending parent" and brought it up, but I only every see snide remarks behind someone's back or on Facebook. Ugh!  Vent over.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Happy WDSD!

A quick post before the feeding specialist shows up!

This is from my facebook, plus a bit extra because we always deserve a little extra.

Today is World Down Syndrome Day! Many people are doing "Who I Am" posts, but Ada isn't even 11 weeks yet. I'm still learning who she is, like any parent of any newborn. That's who she is right now. She is a baby, like any other baby. She is loved by many, many people! People with Down Syndrome are people that deserve as much respect as any other person. That's what today is about, but it doesn't stop at today and it doesn't stop at people with Down Syndrome.  Everyone deserves to be accepted!

I should include a little bit about Ada though.  Ada touched my heart before she was even born.  She has taught me so much about life and about myself.  She is my little girl that loves to stare and smile at me rather than eat sometimes.  I sometimes get frustrated when she won't eat as much of her bottle as I think she should, but when she just smiles at me, I forget all about that frustration.

Ada's bow says Peace, Love, Awareness!  I think that's a good tagline for today!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Secret Tips for a Moms with "2 under 2"

I decided I should start recording any secret tips I learn.  I learned one today, so here's tip #1.

Bath Time (for me)

Getting a bath/shower when you have two little ones is hard, especially when I have to give Ada a bottle and pump during Brady's naptime.  Today I learned something that I hope will continue to help me get clean if I need to.  The best option is to take a bath with your toddler, but I've tried that with Brady and he has not been happy about it.

Today, I got Ada to sleep and took Brady into the bathroom with me.  I made myself a bubble bath and blew the bubbles at him and after that the bubbles amused him for the rest of my bath.  It did get messy though, so in the future I will make sure he isn't wearing anything but a diaper.  He has been so happy ever since getting a bit of bubble and water time. Yay!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Therapy and other concerns...

I see so much talk about therapy lately that I can't help get worried sometimes.  I'm a natural worrier.

Ada had her evaluation a few weeks ago and the EI program here said that she did not need therapy yet.  They will re-evaluate her in 90 days.  She will be almost 5 months old at that point.  At first, I thought this was for the best.  Right now, Ada sleeps almost all the time.  She has no real routine and so I find the best moments to work on tummy time and other things with her.  It requires some skill to find a time when she is awake, not too hungry, and not right after a bottle.  I admit that I don't even do tummy time every day.  Some days it is just enjoying that period where she is awake and happy.  She's really good at staring contests.

Then... I see everyone else talking about therapy for their newborns that have Down syndrome and I start to feel like I'm doing the wrong thing.  Maybe I should be pushing for more therapy?  I'm not sure because she can hold her head up for several seconds at a time now.  She can roll over from belly to back to get out of tummy time (as long as she has her arms under her).  She pushes against my hands with her feet.  She will make great eye contact and give us an occasional smile even.  She has even laughed a bit in her sleep.  Honestly, I don't remember when my son did these things because I never really took note.  I only feel like I'm supposed to note these things with Ada because there is this extra stress of THERAPY!  I think I will bring it up at her next appointment with the feeding therapist and her next weight check with the pediatrician.  Maybe they will set my mind at ease or tell me that I should be pushing for therapy.

In other worries, here is a big one....

WEIGHT!!!!

Not just for Ada, but for Brady too.  I try so much not to worry about it because the pediatrician isn't too worried about either of them yet.  A little background here is that I am small (5'0" and under 100 lbs), my husband is small (5'4" on a good day), so naturally...my babies are small.  Brady is 22 months.  I believe he weighs around 20-21 lbs and he is 32.5"-33" tall.  Since he was 4 months old, he has been barely on the growth chart, but he is growing.  He is in the 1%.  The doctor says he will just be small.  I only hope that the trend of growing continues.  Growth hormone deficiency is a concern of mine because I had it and so did my husband's brother.  I'm not sure if it's genetic or not (not enough research because it's rare).  Ada was born at 5lbs and 17", so another tiny one.  She is growing, but with her cleft palate concerns, we will have to keep watching it.  I find myself constantly worrying about how much my kids eat.  I don't realize how small Brady is until I see him around kids near his age.  Today, we met up with a friend who has a daughter that is about 16 months old.  She was right about the same height as Brady.  Hopefully, his doctor will put my mind at ease at his 2 year appointment. Until then...I worry.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Happiness!

Every so often, I start thinking about Ada's life and her future.  There was a time when I would get sad thinking about this, but now I don't.  Really, it comes down to how I never really thought much about "the meaning of life" before I found out I was pregnant with a daughter with Down syndrome.  After that, I thought a lot about it.

Mostly I think there isn't one meaning of life.  Everyone's life means something different, but... I think the most important thing is happiness.  I know that Ada can have that.  Happiness is possible whether or not someone has an intellectual disability or physical disability.  I don't think this is coming off sounding as enlightening as I had hoped, but that about sums it all up.

You can't put value on a person's life.  You can't say one person is more important than the next because, in reality, we are all pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  My life isn't going to change the life of the entire universe.  I will touch as many people as I can and I plan to teach both of my children to do the same and not to worry too much about the rest.  Just do whatever it is that makes you happy and your life will have meaning.  I will do my best to make my children happy and to teach them to always be respectful of others.

Speaking of children, Brady just woke up!  Time to continue the day.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Long Time, No Post!

Things have been so hectic and I haven't had much time to sit down and post.

Ada was in the NICU for 2 weeks and then home for 11 days before we went to the ER worried about her breathing.  Turns out she had RSV.  That was a rough 8 days in the hospital, on oxygen, not eating well, so they stuck her many, many times trying to get an IV.  Then after a few days with the IV in, she got a red spot at the site, so out it came.  At least she was eating well by then.

She's been home for a few weeks now, but we have had family visiting, which is why I haven't been great about updating.  I promise to try and update more often now that she's here and things are (hopefully) calming down.

Until then...


Friday, January 25, 2013

Photo Card

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Saturday, January 12, 2013

A Birth Story

On Jan 2, at 2am (same time as with my first), I started feeling contractions.  They were about 10-15 min apart.  I timed them for 2 hours, panicking because she was not full term just yet.  I thought I would make it at least to 38 weeks.  After 2 hours, they started getting further apart.  I would have them randomly throughout the rest of the day.  Next night, same thing, except they lasted 5 hours before getting further apart and I had them ever 30-45 minutes throughout the day.  That evening, January 3rd, they started getting closer together again (probably  around 4 or 5pm), but they were very random.  I tried laying down and guzzling water and they seemed to get further apart (about 10-15 min), but as soon as I stood up to do anything, they would be 5 min or even closer.  I finally decided around 8pm, after we put Brady down for bed, to call someone to watch him and go to the hospital.

I was expecting to be sent home, but I was already dilated to 5cm!  I wasn't really getting frequent contractions at this point.  I was at 6cm by the time they admitted me.  The contractions were very painful (like last time), but not close together at all (unlike last time).  I wanted my second natural childbirth, but I just couldn't let me body go.  I labored for a few hours stuck at 6cm.  I finally said I wanted an epidural.  The first epidural didn't work, so they had to stick it in me again.  Yuck!  Once it started working, the contractions got very close and I didn't time it, but I think I went from 6 or 7cm to fully dilated in about 2-3 hours.  After only a few short pushes, Ada Josette was born on January 4th, 2013 at 4:44am.  She was only 5lbs and 17" long.  Her gestational age was 37 weeks, 1 day.

She hadn't been nursing very well, but I figured it was just the learning curve and the fact that they took her to the nursery to be in a warmer for a few hours because she was having issues regulating her temp.  Our pediatrician came in to check her out that afternoon.  We already knew she had Down Syndrome, but he said she also a cleft palate.  He asked if it would be ok to feed her some formula in a special bottle.  Daddy got to feed her and she ate about 10mL of formula.  The pediatrician decided that she couldn't afford to lose weight so he had her admitted to the NICU, saying it would probably only be for an IV and observation over 24 hours.

She's now 8 days old, but still in the NICU.  We continued to try breastfeeding for a few days, but it really wasn't working out between her being tired, slight tongue thrust, and her cleft palate.  They did her echocardiogram and that all looked great.  They did an ultrasound of her brain (to check for a midline defect) and that also looked good.  An occupational therapist worked with her on the bottle one feeding a day and she did really well.  After a few days, I decided breastfeeding would have to take a backseat to bottle feeding if I wanted to get her home soon.  At this point, she was only getting pumped breastmilk.

She has now been exclusively bottlefed for 4 days and does a little better each day.  She gets almost all of her bottle and only gets about 8-16 mL pumped into her feeding tube at each feeding session.  Once she can consistently take all of her bottle, then they will remove her feeding tube.  Then they will watch her to make sure she is still gaining weight for 48 hours.  This has been so hard and exhausting, especially with Brady being sick at home now.  I'm really hoping to take her home by next Wednesday though.  I know it's not in my control, but she hasn't taken any backwards steps yet.  She just takes baby steps forward.  She is so determined and absolutely adorable!


I am absolutely in love with this little girl!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Crafty?

I created a hairbow board for Kalista and then just finished one up for Ada too! I am actually kind of proud of myself.  Of course, neither has been put into use yet, so I am crossing my fingers that nothing falls off.


Saturday, December 8, 2012

Hug your babies (young and old) close today!

It's been a sad weekend.  My cousin lost her baby last night.  This cousin and I hardly ever saw each other (I think I can count the times on one hand), but we used to be pen pals when we were young and we loved sending each other letters.  I actually didn't even know she had a baby.  Her daughter was almost 4 months old when she stopped breathing at the babysitter's house a couple of days ago.  The babysitter administered CPR and the baby was careflighted to a hospital, but has been on oxygen since.  They ran tests and determined that she had a blood sugar level over 400 and her MRI did not look good either.  I guess they think she went into diabetic shock, but the doctors couldn't do anything more for her.  My cousin and her husband had to make the decision to pull her off of life support.  I can't imagine the heart break and grief they must be going through.  I can't imagine having to make that decision.  It's scary to think that such a young life can be taken away so soon and it makes me feel so lucky that my babies are healthy!  I checked on Brady twice last night because it really is just so scary.  I had a hard time sleeping, but I guess that's usual this late in a pregnancy. I should say I had an even harder time sleeping.  Please keep my family in your thoughts.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Words Can Hurt...

It may not be the "R" word, but using the term "special ed" as a replacement isn't any better.


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Just a Picture

Brian, Brady (18 months), and me (almost 30 weeks pregnant)

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Co-op Crazy

Ever since I've found co-ops, I've been going crazy buying stuff for Ada.  I told Brian that giving me a girl is going to be the worst thing for his bank account.

Here's what I'm waiting on:
  • Headbands
  • Leg warmers
  • Leggings (for Brady too because they had boy ones and they are great for cloth diapered bums)
  • Cloth nursing pads (I guess these aren't for Ada)
  • Diaper pail liners and wet bags
  • Crochet shoes
  • Cloth Wipes
Now, I'm trying hard to resist the skirted leggings that will be showing up soon on one of my co-ops.  They're only $5 each, but the sizing doesn't start until 12 months.  I already have tons of hand me down girl clothes, so I don't need even more stuff in advance.  Since I get all of these things at wholesale prices, I'm saving tons of money at least.  In fact, those leggings showed up on zulily for $10 a piece and I'm getting them for $2 a piece!

This reminds me that I really need to get busy on my to-do list soon!  Especially making hairbow holders for Kalista and Ada!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

January is Getting Close!

I just realized this week that I'm 29 weeks (technically today).  This means I'll be considered full-term in 8 weeks.  I just realized I can't assume she will stay in there for 40+ weeks like Brady.  Plus, there are holidays, so it's more like 6 weeks to prepare!  Eek!

Panic Mode Activated!

Then Brady was really sick for the past two days.  He's just now finally keeping food down.  Not much has been done in the past days except massive amounts of laundry because I have no clue how to keep a 1.5 year old from throwing up on everything, especially when he gives no warning that it's going to happen.  The first time was actually in his sleep and he didn't make a sound or even wake up long enough to cry after.  I checked on him before we went to bed 2 hours after we put him down and he had rolled around in it.  Yuck!

I'm sure I still have plenty of time, but 6 weeks doesn't seem like enough time to prep.  Plus, I really need to get busy on some craft projects.  Brady's scrapbook is only up to 4 months and I have all the supplies to make a hairbow board for Kalista.  I want to make another one for Ada when I'm done.  I'm going to be busy, busy, busy!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Another Zoo Trip!

We went to the zoo with our neighbors/friends and their family.  Brady and Kooper had so much fun!

Watching the tiger!  He kept coming right in front of the window and they would scream and run!

Brady checking out the elephants with daddy!

I took the three hour glucose test on Friday, so I should find out sometime today if I passed or not.  I'm really hoping I passed and I can enjoy all the good foods this holiday season!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!



Can't wait until next year when I get to do this with a 2.5 year old and 9 month old!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Failed Glucose Test

I took my one hour glucose test last Friday and got a phone call today saying my levels were slightly elevated. Boo! This means I have to go in and take a 3 hour test. I'm going to be stuck at the doctors office for 3-4 hours. Plus, I have to fast for 12 hours the night before, plus those 3-4 hours. I'm going to be starving! I really hope I don't fail again. I have no symptoms of Gestational Diabetes. I've only gained 13 lbs in 27 weeks. Ada is smaller, 16% at 25 weeks, but Brady was always small and I know she's likely to be even smaller than him. Wish me luck in my next test. I'm going to try and take it on Friday.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Another Fall Weekend (and a look forward)

I've missed a couple of days, so here's been our wonderful fall weekend.

I went to see the OB on Friday for my glucose test and a normal check-up.  Yuck!  It went alright and I start going every 2 weeks now.  Plus, I'm officially up 13 lbs and she's pretty happy with that.  I just need to keep gaining.

Yesterday, we went to a local parade.  We went last year, but Brady was only about half a year old.  This time, he LOVED it!  He danced to the marching bands, loved looking at the cars drive by (he said "Cah" so many times), pointed obsessively at the balloons and bubbles, and got lots of candy and a sticker from a clown that was a big Tigers fan.  They even had guys in little cars that gave him high-fives as they drove by.  After that, we went to a 50s diner for lunch and he loved that too, especially the strawberry milkshake we all shared.


Our friends/neighbors were there with us and I got to see Kalista, who is almost 2 weeks old.  She makes me so excited for January and getting to dress Ada in all her girly clothes!  I'm looking forward to seeing Brady with his little sister and watching them grow up so close in age.  Brady and Kooper, who is 3.5 months older, play so well together now.  I can remember when they used to play separately, but they've been chasing each other and sharing toys for the past couple of months.  I look forward to seeing Ada do this with Kalista and all her other friends.  These are all things I know I will have with Ada too.  It may be a little different, but I don't feel like I'm giving anything up by having a daughter with Down Syndrome.  If anything, I'll be gaining something.  I'm not sure what yet, but I look forward to finding out.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Another October Baby!!!

Another one of Brady's buddies became a big brother this morning.  Nicholas was born at 5 lbs 14 oz and 18.75"  Another early baby.  He wasn't due until Nov 3rd, I believe.  This means another friend for Ada!  It will be fun having playdates where every child has at least one other child close in age.  All these babies makes me wish January would hurry up and get here.  It seems so far away when there are so many holidays in between now and then, but at least it will go fast because of all those holidays.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Mini Breakdown

Nothing like trying to cook something new when your husband isn't home yet (he worked a little later today) and your 1.5 year old is super fussy and clingy to cause a mental breakdown.  I occasionally freak out about adding another child into this mix.  Sometimes it's hard enough doing it with one, that I am scared about how it will get done with two.  Hopefully, Brady will start to get a little more independent.  In his defense, he was pretty independent all day until I started trying to cook.  No amount of distraction worked either.  I put on his favorite movie. That lasted 5 minutes.  I pulled out a toy that I hide because it's annoying.  That also lasted only 5 minutes.  Even just being in the kitchen with me wasn't enough.  He wanted me to hold him.  So part of dinner did burn a little bit, but in the end it was successful.  It tasted good, at least, and we have tons of leftovers.  I guess I shouldn't freak out too much because no one was hurt, nothing caught on fire and we all still got fed (only 15 minutes later than usual, too).  Just a few tears shed by both Brady and me.  I'll just blame it all on pregnancy hormones.

In other news, I bought nutritional yeast flakes at the Vitamin store nearby and put some of that in our potato cheese soup.  Obviously, we aren't vegans since I definitely used cheese in the soup and half & half, but I got it for a vegan recipe I plan to try.  Plus, I read that it can really boost the nutritional value of your food and it came in a huge container (way more than I need for one recipe).  Either it didn't have enough flavor to overpower the rest of the meal or it just tastes good, but dinner was a huge hit, especially with Brady.  He always makes me feel like a great cook.